What Drives You?
Imagine the confidence to say no powerfully. Imagine every yes feeling so good in your soul. Imagine the confidence to make decisions quickly and easily and every decision made leaving you with a sense of peace.
Knowing what you value, what matters most, and owning it fully gives you that very confidence in life.
How many times have you been faced with a decision to make and it feels overwhelming, paralyzing, all consuming. Maybe a friend made a twist, maybe family, maybe even your boss or a client, heck even your kid might have made the request. When we aren’t locked in to what we value, who we are at the core, day to day to decision easily become stressful.
And here’s one thing for sure, whether you know what you value or not, decision will come at you day in and day out. So let’s take a look at shifting the experience from all consuming to peace and ease.
Titling this what drives you is the perfect start to this conversation because something is always underlying pushing us forward. The question is what.
The goal of this blog today is to share the power of knowing what you value and having those values drive you, however before we get there let’s take a look at what could be currently in the driver seat. Without consciously knowing and locking in to your core values when facing the world you’re left on auto pilot or human default in all you do. So let’s look at decision making on auto pilot and why day to day life can feel so so so over whelming, resentments can build, going to bed feeling frustrated and disempowered are easily the norm.
Chances are if you are going thru life on auto pilot or human default setting one or more of the following is driving your decisions:
People pleasing
Old patterns
Keeping the peace
The easy road
Fitting in
Getting attention
Being liked
Now why you may think those results or drivers aren’t all bad, over time they give away your power and in turn confidence and aliveness. I always pictured it as giving away a tiny piece of me in exchange for ultimately selling out. May sound harsh but as I always say until you can say NO powerfully, every YES lacks integrity (but that will be a blog for another day).
So then on the flip if regaining powerful, confidence, peace and ease are more your vibe and you get excited about the idea of going thru life one decision at a time with the tools to do things differently let’s continue.
We all have a core set of values we hold. They are uniquely ours and give you access to confidence and clarity in life. When how you make decisions aligns with what you value, that confidence emerges. You stand taller, you feel peaceful, you glow from the inside and you live a damn good life. So let’s dive in.
One of the first exercises I ever completed when I hired my first life coach in 2005 was a values assessment. Today as I guide clients to freedom it’s one of the very first items I offer to clients to start is off. It’s the foundation for everything else. Only when you know what matters most to you, at the core, can you build an authentic juicy really great life.
So what might you value and how do you find out what you value most?
Well there are a few ways to approach values and we will dive in to a few today. I remember back when I first looked at hiring a life coach and it was a result of ongoing disagreements at home with my then husband who would consistently say to me “you don’t even know what you value!”. I was so far off the mark at the time I would argue back stating things like “that’s not true I value lots of things like that new purse I just bought, our new home, my friends!”. Ultimately though he was right, I had no clue what was important to me when it came to core values and it had me living a life that left me frustrated, feeling unheard, constantly arguing and hopeless.
So no, valuing a new purse or home or friends isn’t what I’m talking about when I say what you value, so to start today here are some examples of values you might hold:
Pleasure
Creativity
Security
Tranquility
Recognition
Independence
As you can see these go a little deeper than anew purse and you may also start to see how knowing these core drivers could really shift how the world occurs day to day when it comes to making decisions that ultimately build your reality and life.
In the value assessment that I love to use you walk thru a powerful 4 step process where you review a list of core values over and over, ensuring by the end you gain clarity in what truly drives you. The 4 part assessment starts out listing and defining some commonly held values and asks you to look and choose your top 7. From there you go thru a series of value groupings to determine within the grouping which value is most and least important to you. From there you tally up points per value to see where each value lies in priority and finally you create 3 lists of values specific to you, matters most, matters somewhat and matters least. Taking it one step further after completing the assessment I always ask clients to look at what they’ve discovered, and reflect on their life and see what pops out newly.
This exercise is so powerful as not only does it have you pause and make time to go onward, it walks you thru the steps to truly see what drives you. And the beauty is, over time and as life unfolds these values may shift. This exercise can be done over and over for a lifetime (I’ve been using it 20 years) and what’s for sure is every time you complete the exercise you will gain new clarity in to life and confidence in how you live it.
I still to this day remember doing my first assessment in 2005 and it was lightbulb after lightbulb going off. For years I felt like something was wrong with me as I would constantly find myself feeling misunderstood or questioning the choices being made around me, even being scolded for how I thought or wanted to live.
As soon as I completed my first values assessment it all made sense. There was nothing wrong with me at all, in fact who I was at the core quickly became very clear. What I realized though was by not having previously understood what I valued I had lacked the tools needed to make decisions that were right for me. That rippled in to who I spent time with, the career I chose, how I dated, where I lived, how I asked my days, where I invested, and the list went on. Instantly upon completing my values assessment this new freedom opened up. I felt expanded and like I could breathe easily for the first time. Everything made sense and I was excited like never before to face life with confidence.
So fast forward 20 years where I now use this powerful tool to support you in feeling that same confidence I experienced in 2005. Today reading this you have the option to simply write your mind and ask yourself the question
What do I value? What drives me? What matters most to me?
Take note and starting today as life comes at you ask yourself “does this align with my values?” And go from there.
Another option is to work thru the values assessment which is part of the Be Set Free mindset program and one of 41 different powerful workbooks all designed to have you confident, alive and unstoppable. Workbooks that guide you inward to your core allowing you to live life fully free.
If you’re not sure of the full program is for you don’t forget you can always download the FREE preview and get a little taste or message me to get started.
And BONUS today I have made the workbook available as limited release as a stand alone product for you to enjoy HERE. (Enjoy!)
Who you are is unique and honouring it fully is freedom. The world needs you exactly as you are, allow yourself to go inward, own what makes you you and allow it to guide you confidently thru life.
