It’s Not You, It’s Me.
Bringing new meaning to the age of dating quote “it’s not you. It’s me”. Don’t worry we’re not doing a break up today, but we are going to talk about taking full responsibility for your life.
Lots of what I talk about around here is human default, and in discovering human default, we truly get access to designing our life separate from those default settings.
Taking personal responsibility is one of those things that we aren’t set up to do by default.
Our default settings would have us look outside ourselves, blame others, point fingers or see how it’s somebody else’s fault for the reality we currently have. Today I’m going to challenge that idea and offer a solution called taking full responsibility or cutely put here. “it’s not you it’s me”.
Years ago, I read a book by Marianne Williamson called Return to Love and while I remember very little of the book, one thing that has always stood out to me was a conversation asking “how can I be love in this situation” and “how can I be responsible”. That “how can I be responsible” question really offers access to being powerful and confident in our lives. It opens up a conversation about freedom, living with confidence, aliveness and being unstoppable. (all of our favorite thins around here)
When we can pause in life and see ourselves as the source of all of it, we truly can access anything we want and desire.
Let’s think about that for a minute, if I am putting everything outside of me, blaming people, looking for solutions outside myself, looking at the cause of my results as something separate from me, I truly will never have control. I’m relying on outside perspectives, outside opinions, somebody else, for MY life and my results.
Let’s flip that and look at this concept of being fully responsible. If you’re like me, when you first think about being fully responsible for your life, the reaction is to run in the opposite direction. I don’t want everything to be on me. I don’t want it all on my shoulders. I don’t want every decision to be my decision. It’s too much. That thinking is normal and I’ve definitely been there myself. I even find myself kicking and screaming at the thought today from time to time.
That said being fully responsible means that my life is up to me and that is powerfuL.
So, what choices have you been making that aren’t working for you? What realities are yours and what can you do about it? If you knew exactly who you were, what you wanted and how to get it and no matter what happened in life you knew that you were the creator and that everything you wanted or desire could be your because it was fully up to you! That is the power of taking full responsibility. It’s exciting. It’s powerful. It’s an opportunity.
Now, I struggle a little when I share this, because I do have a huge belief in God and do believe that we are here with a plan that we know nothing about. So, please be clear when I say “you are the source of your life”, “everything is up to you”, this doesn’t negate the fact that there is a bigger plan and that God is our ultimate source. So please hear BEING FULLY RESPONSIBLE as a concept where your choices are fully up to you. You can choose to pray and surrender and trust a bigger plan and in moments ask for guidance when we’re lost or struggling. Be clear though. those actions are sourced by us. I am the one praying. I am the one asking for guidance. Again, looking inward and holding ourselves responsible
Can you start to taste the freedom?
Today, I’ll leave you with a series of questions to ask yourself in moments where you feel that you’ve lost power you feel frustrated in a situation you feel stuck and the questions are this
Am I holding myself fully responsible?
Where can I take responsibility in this situation?
Is there anyone I’ve been blaming?
Is there anywhere I’m looking outside myself for answers?
What is the payoff by not taking responsibility? What gets easier? What am I avoiding? How does it make me feel?
What do I fear by taking full responsibility?
If that fear was replaced with confidence, what would I do next?
