What Is A Coach Anyway?
You’re sitting there curled up on the couch, partly watching your latest netflix binge, partly scrolling instagram, mainly looking for a glimmer of hope to make sense of this thing called life. You’ve had a great week at work, your friends took you for sushi to your fave spot mid week, you have a trip planned for the long weekend, and yet you sit here feeling meh. You ask yourself is this it? Is this life? Is this as good as it gets? And then you hear a whisper (that’s all too familiar) say “there’s got to be more!”.
You continue to scroll instagram, momentarily inspired by the latest posts, you see the funny memes your bestie sent you and then you wonder who could support you in your unanswered questions, determining why your great life feels only meh, stop the questioning, provide clarity, give you guidance, have you feeling peace.
With mental health awareness higher than ever, it seems we should have more answers, more solutions, more peace than ever.
Truth is the awareness has not increased the level of satisfaction, peace or fulfillment and THAT is a problem.
While today it may feel refreshing that we are talking about our stresses, struggles, hopes and dreams, it can actually have the reverse effect on our sense of worth, purpose, fulfillment, and joy. The more options we’re given, the more information we have, in fact it can cause more anxiety, more stress, more uncertainty, the opposite of what most people are craving. I remember hearing a great analogy of today’s “to anything - be anything” craze - life today is the equivalent of picking up a box from ikea full of pieces and a blank instruction manual that says “thank you for your purchase, this box can make anything you desire”. (so know that if you are feeling like you’re more lost and confused than ever - you likely are and it’s not just you)
So what then? If you’re brand new to the world of mental health or you consider yourself somewhat of an expert, you may have no idea what to do next. Now of course mental health is a very large umbrella and there are definitely different pathways for different people depending on where they’re at under that umbrella. So, today I want to talk about what is next, what options you have, how to choose and if you choose to stay here what you can expect.
If you are reading this and live a pretty good life to those looking in, you have a roof over your head, you have a job to go to and money coming in, people you can call friends, food to eat and maybe even enjoying some extras like that upcoming trip, the monthly massage or trip to the nail salon, but end of the day you question it all, thought it would be different, want more, keep reading and
let’s talk about what it means to hire a coach.
Traditionally when you want to get your life back on track, or have answers to questions, guidance, you would book a session with a therapist. Now while therapy definitely has it’s place (I definitely have my therapist on speed dial) they have a specific role that was perfectly described to me years ago. Hire a therapist to look through your past and analyze it, label it, diagnose it. In the same conversation I became very clear on the role of a coach - to partner with you to look to the future you want and create it, free from your past. Said simply:
Want to analyze your past - hire a therapist.
Want to create your future powerfully - hire a coach.
Now that still leaves a lot of grey space so let’s continue to dive into what a coach is and specifically what I do as a coach here. While I have been in the coaching world since 2005, the title seems to encompass a larger and larger group of people daily. It’s a currently unregulated industry and therefore the title can also mean a variety of things and it is safe to say all coaches are not created equal. I would always suggest before hiring a coach you become clear on what you’re wanting from the relationship and ask the questions accordingly before hiring. This leaves both you and the coach able to do their best and maximize results.
A coach by definition is an individual who holds space and guides you to your answers. They are skilled in listening, asking powerful questions, and having you reach aha moments where you reveal your truth, your next step, your most authentic self.
Something I’ve noticed in the last 10 years is more and more “coaches” are in fact mentoring their clients. Mentorship is also powerful but it is not coaching. Where coaching has you reach your own answers, empowering you to your best life, mentorship is someone sharing with you how they reached their goal and guiding you to reach it the way they did. The reason I make this distinction here is because if you know anything about Miss Jenny B you know that I believe life is NOT one size fits all, that your best life is sourced by you. So while it may feel exciting to see someone in the world that has what you want and follow their system to achieve it, you may also notice that if and when you reach the set finish life you are left without the feeling you hoped for.
This distinction is something I experienced first hand in my first wellness business where I had successfully lost over 100 lbs and kept it off after years of struggle, assuming that if it worked for me it would work for everyone. The truth was with over 1000 clients in 4 countries all following the exact weight loss formula I had, only 4 had the same results as I did with large weight loss that stayed off. This crazy (to me) fact had me dive deeper and lead me to studying people, and what has us not only achieve results but achieving them in an authentic lasting way. It also led me to see that while I initially thought a number on the scale or size in my jeans was what I was after, I was actually searching for confidence, peace and fulfillment which today I know have no correlation to the scale or my pant size.
So back to what is a coach and more specifically what is it like to hire me. As I mentioned a coach is someone trained in listening, asking powerful questions and having you reach your aha moments leading to a powerfully created future that you choose and everything you desire. Around here we specialize in Integrative Health Coaching. Regardless of the program you design, what goals you have, what focus lights you up as you dive in to working with me, I will promise you this -
Abundant Thinking. Judgement Free Space.
Unconditional Presence. Radical Realness.
What does that mean? Let’s start by sharing that as an integrative Health Coach I have completed my Integrative Health Coach Certification through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. This program trains us in 5 key areas, active listening, unconditional presence, self awareness, high mileage questions and reflective statements. This is the foundation of our coaching and I’ve taken it one step further.
Abundant thinking. This business is founded in the belief anything is possible and as such I have completed additional training to release any limitations I might have. (hello master of self awareness) This ensures our coaching time together is truly creating from a wide open space. There is no dream to big. If you think it up, I am equipped to see you fulfill on it.
Judgement Free Space. As a coach my role is to hold space and see you fulfill. I am trained to support you to do you. My opinions, thoughts, judgements are not part of the deal. By combining the skills of self awareness, active listening and unconditional presence I am able to create a powerful commitment to you. My thoughts, beliefs, preferences, pasts will not interfere with your future. I also commit that you will always feel safe, seen and supported.
Unconditional presence. You saw that listed as a skill all of our coaches are trained to master, and it’s so important to us we have listed it as a commitment we have for you. We call this the magic because we truly believe that in this fast paced, busy world experiencing true unconditional presence is rare. From the moment you partner with your Own Your Extra coach be ready to experience how powerful life is when you have unconditional presence. Warning, you will quickly start to demand it everywhere in life and embodying it will have you be someone people can’t help but want to be around.
Radical Realness. Radical by definition describes the foundation or fundamental nature of something. That something here is realness. No fluff, no BS, only the truth. When working with Own Your Extra we believe in a foundation of keeping it real. In our commitment to see you living your best life, sugar coating, talking around, sometimes even being nice just doesn’t allow us to fulfill on our commitment to you and the world. Sometimes you’ll experience this in the high mileage questions we ask or in the reflective statements we use to make sure we are clear on exactly what you’re saying. Other times it’s the power of our listening and presence to catch when you’re full of it and ask you to pause and go deeper.
With what you can expect from any of our coaches now clear, let’s also look the two realms our coaches specialize in.
we specialize in Integrative Health Coaching and Life coaching.
With our Health Coach hat on, our role is to empower you to find foods and lifestyle practices that work best for you with a focus on holistic health. The key here is 1. “work best for you” and 2. “holistic health”. If holistic health is a term you’ve heard thrown around lately but you aren’t quite sure what it actually means and maybe even for you falls into a greenwashing category when you see it - i’m here to help. Holistic by definition means “characterized by the belief that the parts of something are interconnected and can only be explained by the reference to the whole”. In other words having a holistic approach to health means that our coaches are trained to create what’s best for you only by referencing the whole. This means when it comes to our health coaching practices we will not just look at what’s on your plate or the fitness classes you attend, rather we will incorporate a multi-dimensional, bi-individual approach to ensure true health.
With our Life Coach hats on, we guide clients to awareness of their strengths, support releasing limiting beliefs and focus on the inner work that allows for the powerful creation of life. We choose to title our role as Life Coach as “lifestyle and success coach” to distinguish us even further as in our role we truly believe in access your best life must look at your unique definition of success as well as habits day to day which we title lifestyle.
The reason we have chosen to do both integrative health and life coaching, is that we feel in the world the two biggest struggles people have are conversations around health, success and fulfillment. We believe that in order to wake up to a life you want to make out with you must look at who you are, why you’re here and have the tools to confidently be it. We also believe that without health none of it is possible. We believe that while many people have the skills to think they know what they want or what’s missing, the truth is very few are connected to the deeper feelings they wish to have and never reach their best life because they’ve never been given the opportunity to discover their deepest truth.
So if you’re still here reading this lovely short novel I would hazard to say this is a topic that interests you, and that you may just be ready to dive deeper. Ultimately ready to wake up to a fuck yes life, you’ve created, that feels so good, so peaceful.
you are ready to walk through life smiling, knowing you’ve truly discovered the secret to it all - being you - fully.
